Most chicks are really bad at taking feet pics.
And it isn’t like I blame em for it; assuming only one feller in six ever manages to fuck babygirl’s feetsies she’s essentially living in a game of Russian Roulette and probs will make the rounds a fair few times before ever picking up any of the grammar.
On the other hand: 18% of dudes having a foot fetish is ackshully pretty damn high.
…cause like if gay guys are only 3% of the population and even still we all get whacked across the noggin constantly about how super fucking normal they are you sure as shit can’t tell me I'M the weirdo for wanting to lick White Monster off Lindsay Clancey’s soles, and if you do I’m joining Westboro Baptist—because fuck you. Sorry not sorry.
Also ten years ago they made us all do that stupid fake and gay black buttcheek shit that was clearly for the benefit of minorities / poors since liking asses is inherently a chthonic-dionysian-hadean impulse… like if you’re an affluent white guy and really love asses idk. You’re kind of in candor just psychically illegible to me at that point and quite possibly irredeemably wigger-coded. Hell, I don’t even think the impulse is real in any white man of quality, so it honestly just sort of rankles me whenever I’m party to ambient nigger-brocheadbuttcheekgrammar I myself don’t even subscribe to and parse as uncongenially tropical when foot fetishists outnumber blacks in this country.
Meanwhile nonwhite womyn amble around on those abominable melanin-ash-hooves that ensure their erotic ascent in popular culture remains entirely USELESS for me given I at this juncture am unlikely to ever again fuck something less white than maybe a Turk… who even when I DID fuck one of those back in Orlando walked in on two malodorous unmaintained Jihad-hooves the likes of which I’d never experienced on my dates with assorted local UCF blondes. And so I experience the subaltern prestige grammar as a concerted phenomenological assault on my sanity that also never lets up since all grammars are by definition imperial and adversarial within zero sum aggregate global status markets—which means in turn that by mainstreaming hoofs said subalterns could make yt girlypops less concerned about the prettiness of they feetsies on the margins maybe which if there’s any argument for racial partition it’s that. Footfetishism is white-coded because dark feet are nasty and Asian feet puffy and flat, whereas white girls plainly have the prettiest, daintiest, and most delicate smexy feetsies around hence nonwhites when they do show up as footfags pretty reliably trending toward white chicks whilst more wiggerish genres of peckerwood endeared to bountiful black buttcheeks start drifting instead toward shaniqua and you come up with some new fagreason that inferential leap can’t hold Mr. Altman I get it.
Though one thing I do find rather droll here is that I probably did at least in part become a white nationalist on account of asian and brown women having such ugly feet, as that meant racial arbitrage wasn’t a viable strategy for me as it was for many other nerdy white late bloomer Millennial dudes, which meant in turn I simply had to hold out for the right white girl. Luckily tho I found a pretty damn spectacular one after eventually getting Alt Right famous, and boys: her feets were SCRUMPTIOUS.
Anywho, look: My overall point with all this is simply that liking feet is far more “normal” objectively speaking relative to the average person than being gay or black.
“ackshully muh…”
nah stfu
And also riddle me this:
Who carries AIDS more between footfags and blacks / gays?
Yeah go ahead: poop your fucking panties.
One of the reasons niggas fucked feet historically is that it’s ackshully a super duper safe and hygienic practice that lets you cum still even when the bih is lowkey dying of syphilis or w/e. Literally just wash her feet and it’s the cleanest and safest sex act one can do because you’re minimizing practical transmission vectors from nasty orifices.
Mouths, cunts, and buttholes are objectively many many times more gross and nasty than feetsies, and unlike soles don’t taste like soap when bae gets out of the shower... literally thinking of precisely every single chickie I’ve been with without even one solitary fucking exception chickie’s pusspuss was always vastly more disgusting than her shitpipe / feetsies both irrespective of her present state of hygiene.
…and I won’t do some groty faggoty slave morality spergshit here, but footfaggotry is just clearly autistic-coded hence every chick who dates lots of spergs giggling about the feet thing and corroborating the pattern and so in practice mocking footfags is simply a morally legible proxy for broadsiding spergs in the black peepo on lexisnexis sense—which I’d ackshully be completely fine with given I do exactly the same thing in broad strokes to peepo I myself hate, but also if you’re a non-footfag sperg you really orta take a good look at the coalition structure and ask where your loyalties lie.
Anyway bear with me almost back on topic just one good point:
If buttcheeks are nog-coded and feetsies sperg-coded, booba are kind of just vanilla midwesterner normalfag-coded. But they are apollonian obviously and you can play with em whilst lookin at her bootiful face which is k-selected and Trad. So boobs I have nothing against like I sort of do ass (which is fine itself and I fuckn adore girlies’ assholes ofc but the cheeks just seem kind of hip hop brochead extraneous and nog to me). The problem with boobs is that until you have bae groomed into your own erotic grammar via diachronic incorporation she always wants you to compliment her boobs etc. and play with em more than her feet. Because she centers her femininity in them somatically even after getting into having her toes sucked babygirl often retains some gay residual part of her that’s still annoyed you don’t spend more time on her boobs.
So I always have to do this like performative OMG BOOBAAA thing at first wherein I pretend to rly care about em one way or another when in reality I give precisely zero fucks about booba in like 99% of erotic scenarios and would much prefer to blow bae’s shitpipe out violently while she’s cuffed to the headboard and I play with dem feetsies.
Tits are usually to me like a vaguely nonsexual stress ball and erotically fun when it’s like a mildly saggy single mommy so you can be a little mean with em or if she has like big pullable nipnips—like srsly guys there are times I do love tits fine, don’t get me wrong here. But I ALSO think I personally feel about tits the same way normie guys often feel about feet: “oh it’s nice and feminine… cool, can I do the other thing now?”
Precisely every other person’s erotic grammar is inherently Bad and Wretched by dint of simple nonsolipsism until you somehow manage to like eat em ontologically.
Anywho back on topic.
…although for that I’d hazard we might ackshully benefit from starting the discussion at a somewhat broader resolution and spending time with the sort of nudes girlypops send more generally.
…beginning with the observation that when a chickie sends a dude a smexy photo of herself she pretty invariably starts off with something that feels sexy to HER, e.g. posing in an artsy fartsy way that kind of evokes the cover of a grocery store mom magazine and makes it all about aesthetic tumblr composition and muh Holistic Self instead of those vulnerable treasurey moistholes.
And so her girlnudes pretty much always kind of suck—because the nudes bae starts off sending you and the ones that ultimately end up extracted from her once she’s sucked down and into your object-oriented context-independent erotic cockworld by way of that initial relational-dyadic connection are doing very operatively different things.
Though I don’t want to seem like a pornbrained chode with that—clearly if we really really like the chick we’ll earnestly appreciate her faggoty gay girlnudes and mb even jerk off to em like we might to a blurry Obama-era beach pic on babygirl’s ancient FB.
More realistically we’ll feel a bit like the corporate office birthday boy who earnestly appreciates that his manager’s autistic third grade son gifted him a crayon drawing of their family terrier, which objectively was a lovely thought.
There’s just no escaping the fact that sans exogenous male coaching girlnudes always have the phenomenology of flat soda—like an itch getting scratched by dull nails.
The reason being that even the most normgroid of men as a rule prefer nudes that are way more “fetishistic” in the literal sense of fixating on my dude’s favorite chickiepart / scenario / power-grammar in a manner most womyn especially when relatively low in sociosexuality or openness will experience as deindividuating and destructive of the underlying creative naughty appeal she’d otherwise have derived from nudestaking. Whereas most of the time a feller kind of just wants to see holes getting spread with his fav ancillary sexparts safely in view whilst chickie makes a vaguely submissive or cartoonishly horny pose and facial expression, and for a lot of girlypops that whole arrangement makes them feel interchangeable, especially when activated prematurely.
What chickies tend to miss about it though is that the man still very much wants HER personality / essence in the shot—that it needs to very palpably be CHICKIE’s starfish getting excavated by that hairbrush handle, and not just one that could belong to any nondescript 360p Filipina pulled from Bing twenty seconds ago, or else there’s zero point in even sending it!!!—which by the way is also the reason nudes without face are operatively completely worthless. The girl because of womyn having a far more relational and context-dependent field understands the bodypart / scenario fixation as making the nude he wants “less her” in some critical sense, but to the dude the whole point is that he’s getting a non-fungible icloud horcrux of HER pusspuss; HER shitter; HER feetsies that makes her far more durably HIS BIH in some diachronically significant way.
Alas, girls are very gay and retarded, and so say shit like “but what if u blackmail mee…”
…which like as volcanically hot as that very obviously is it also loses the entire appeal of owning a chick-horcrux if nondescript niggas on Twitter can see her holes / soles / tidders too. And like if I wasn’t willing to dump fucking Layla’s nudes after all that bullshit it seems a pretty dece prior that leaking nudes is the precise opposite of the Waltine style… and not even for moralfag fake and gay aw shucks reasons either but bc my internal conative villain-drive would experience losing exclusive ownership of a nude (which is NFT-coded with me too as I like to have girls pose in embarrassing and extravagant ways with like a massive flashlight in her mouth etc.) as retroactively obliterative of that dyadic meeting I faggily overindex on you stupid dumdum.
Anywho—what matters is the above misunderstanding is almost never permanent, as in the vast majority of hetero-erotic dyads the chick will endogenously adopt her feller’s more context-independent and object-oriented erotic grammar as a sort of ontological container for her own lust, in a process we’ll here call Erotic Alchemy.
The way it breaks down is simpler than most peepo tend to narrate it:
Babygirl begins with her own native feminine erotic grammar, which looks like her getting aroused and hardnipnip whenever she inhabits some particular erotically valent self-state in relation to a man—canonically feeling small, feeling scared, feeling protected / provided for, feeling chased, feeling worshipped, feeling fought over, feeling put in her place or scolded, feeling displayed or flaunted, feeling exposed, feeling embarrassed, feeling morally or aesthetically disgusted in kind of a man-as-limburger cheese or stinky-caviar way as opposed to a man-as-shit way, feeling overwhelmed, feeling captured, feeling praised, feeling instructed, feeling seen, feeling contained, feeling claimed, or feeling ignored. The particular erotic modalities a chickadee clings to are virtually always endogenously adaptive to her own local ecology, with gals inside more frictionless markets with higher personal optionality responding more to coldness as a sign of male exit power or relational status while girlypops in more dangerous or resource-scarce or volatile fields tend to respond more acutely to conflictual heat and toothy asymmetry.
The man fuckin her (or even simply smexting her) then creates a sort of habitual erotic groove in chickie’s adorable wittle fuckbunbun-girlbrain that makes my dudeo’s own masculine / object-oriented / less contextual erotic grammar reliably evoke some particular high-voltage relation-state in her—and so the girlypop who starts out merely adoring the texture of fear during smex soon discovers that state is by far most reliably evoked via choking or slapping, whereas the girl who loves feeling overwhelmed develops a giant thing for anal, and the chick who eroticizes the threat of exposure starts to love getting fingered during pickanics or in movie theaters, and finally the gal who gets wet when she’s provided for eroticizes her very own feetsies now because her footfag boyfriend likes to buy her pedicures.
Of course it goes without saying there’s a spectrum here: essentially all womyn like being dominated by a man who somatically registers as high status / coo, hence 99% of em moistening up for caverape the instant you squeeze that windpipe, whereas on the other end of the train tracks we have genuinely cwazy endeavors a la sounding and scat and the like for which a bih probably needs to be a hooker or w/e or at least have an immensely potent disgust → arousal pipeline (which tbf isn’t all that unheard of in super neurotic art women especially—this is exactly how I got so much pusspuss in ~2020 saying nigger on the first date all the time—though they’ll more usually opt for like ultra-extreme BDSM or CNC as opposed to eating poo) to internalize the fetish persistently and in a manner that supersedes the ordinary human disgust response.
And while of course most womyn also will do wretchedly degrading things behind closed doors for an apex-status feller, and get palpably pusspuss’d by it too—that’s also pretty plainly not what I’m talking about here, as exceedingly few of the women who get butterflies in they tummy having Justin Bieber pee on them would ever let their hubs do that for instance, and that phenomenon my droogs isn’t anything like ackshual Erotic Alchemy so much as a bogstandard and frankly pretty pedestrian paleolithic war-bride thing where basically the whole point is Baby can’t metabolize the act as anything OTHER THAN degradation and almost like trespass qua itself?
Whereas the point of Erotic Alchemy is Baby now makes non-obvious semiotic leaps on a somatic-associative level tied to object-level properties that let her participate in the fetish like it’s her own and in a manner portable beyond the local dyadic field because it’s become an object-level response pattern, such that chickie may well in the future e.g. ask a later boyf to lick her feetsies during smex even if he doesn’t particularly want to.
All that said one caveat: Millennielles and Zoomettes—esp when somewhat spergy—do this FAR more often than prior cohorts of womyn, who seem to almost never develop the same intensity of quasi-male fetishes unless they’re some super-extreme outlier type with ridonk high sociosexuality. And while presumably SOME Gen X / Boomer women enjoy being choked / having they toes sucked, it’s usually a FAR more private and relational sort of thing for them (e.g. Rex Ryan’s wife) and ontologically much less fetishistic in the sense that it’s more strongly tied to a particular man bae experiences herself as “doing it for” even after coming to genuinely enjoy it all herself, as her own native cohort-specific femininity modalities simply don’t permit the same degree of object-driven fetishism one observes increasingly in bihs born after like ~1980.
The genesis of the change is pretty obviously a feedback loop—it starts with girlypops themselves watching porn more and reading loads of erotica about minotaurs biting their clit off and shit, and then is exacerbated by said chickies getting involved with boyos coming into the dyad under a thick, hyper-specific fetishy porngrammar the chickadee slowly adopts herself to as if through ontological osmosis, with her enjoyment of the underlying act slowly shifting from an entirely him-directed and relational thing to something more object-driven as the surrounding ecology grows less bounded and she herself becomes more erotically compartmentalized / modular.
As stated before, this usually happens via quasi-violent maledom smex in the vein of choking / slapping / buttfuckin etc. as that’s what overlaps most tidily with the modal native-feminine cumgrammar (esp in high sociosexual and high neuroticism womyn, with higher neuroticism in particular precipitating colossal native-female increases in masochism-susceptibility b4 minotaurs can even enter the Cartesian theater)—even when the concomitant male-sadistic impulse usually equilibriates more towards being laundered as ackshully Chickie’s desire (think fagshit like “I’m a pleasure dom…”) as that makes it all more immediately legible morally to bae’s fatfriend and the asses of the masses—a dynamic I christen the “Bitches Be Cwazy Effect” in The Orange Book.
And so as a consequence what dumdum anti-essentialist Gen X and Early Millennials might parse as mild-maledom BDSM is simply the default sexual grammar of most hetero dyads now, and doesn’t even read to youngpeepo as “fetishy” per se in the same way it almost certainly still would to e.g. a 47 year-old woman, which is why Gen X mothers very seldom understand their Zoomette daughters for instance who in turn kind of enter into a babyfugue around them because the mutual grammar literally doesn’t permit any operatively useful exchange of ideas on certain subjects.
But of course beyond all that you still see plenty of variance—e.g. in libtard Zoomer culture a lot of fellers will ironically or performatively adopt “safe horny” fetishes a la “muscle mummies” that eroticize womanly erotic autonomy and sovereign masculine-style power because that’s literally the only modality that won’t get them operatively unpersoned by low-sociosexual Zoomettes with Dworkin phenomenology, even when in private very nearly all their ackshual girlfriends will enjoy being choked, slapped and so on. Meanwhile in Right-Zoomer culture rape is increasingly aestheticized by both sexes and seen as quasi-aristocratic, which is one of the many reasons Zoomers confuse Millennials so much: the post-Tinder collapse of Christian Slave Morality inverted the political valence of youth sociosexuality-coding almost overnight.
Having said that as a general trend what we see is acute erotic compartmentalization: Zoomers as a rule are much less public / propositional about their fetishes than we cheugsters ever were, but not infrequently also far kinkier in private—although they also lack Millennial pluralism towards the complex; while the archetypal Millennielle thought herself Hermione-sophisticated for never kink-shaming a dude, the modal Zoomette would probably experience even the notion of such a thing as vaguely rapey.
Thus the Millennielle is materially more likely than the Zoomette to self-abnegatingly repress her own amygdalic disgust response and entertain a kink that isn’t prima facie congenial to her—“I’ll try anything once! :D”—but is likewise a little less permeable to diachronic incorporation into deep erotic-alchemical male cumgrammars on account of being less pornbrained, a lot more universalistic / faux-symmetry seeking, much less overtly transactional, and significantly less prone to volatile affective vibesurfing between ostensibly contrary prestige grammars. The Millennielle wants to be Owned in the bedroom so as to safely harvest cumcums in Little Space behind an arbitrary ontological fuckwall beyond which she is always presumptively Kim Possible, whereas the Zoomette is even when stridently feminist often very content to be Owned under ordinary asymmetric hetero-dyadic conditions—at least until you seem weak and bae decides you ackshually should be raped to death and also she was fawning that time.
But I digress—again!
Bad Walt!
What I was trying to express up there is that while modernity seems to have made the default hetero register quasi-sadomasochistic it almost certainly won’t ever put a dent in e.g. aversion to shit and pedophilia since after a certain point the trespass is eating away at the substrate too aggressively. But there are also lots of nodes in the middle.
Feet are plainly one of those middles—as are e.g. femdom, pegging, knifeplay, fatpeepo, armpits, diapers, prolly piss, and idk you get the drill.
What I’d submit to my clever reader though is that feet are kind of ontologically thicker than armpits and diapers and peepee oh my because of the reasons already laid out in this other piece right here you should definitely go read right now:
The Game Theory of Licking Girls' Feet
Most peepo tend to write off foot fetishism as just some arbitrary neurological quirk: a dude happens to enjoy chicks’ feet in the same basically inexplicable way some other guy can’t get enough of huge knockers, and that’s all there is to it—“crossed wires.”
TL;DR— feet may well be arbitrary when simply staring at the somewhat parochial resolution of what mechanistically causes a fetish, but phenomenologically a foot fetish vs. being into diapers or armpits or trannies or fatpeepo are all massively semiotically overdetermined in really thick and significant ways, with feet being so in a particular way (read the article it’s good) that makes it almost a parallel erotic grammar bleeding into every facet of not only sexual life but even normie couple life in a far thicker way than booba or buttcheeks permit yet also offers far more mainstream legibility and covert indulgence opportunities than the super duper pervy stuff + lots of feet-specific dynamics to footfetish dyads that are in certain ways to my mind at least a separate phenomenological pole from normalfag tidder-focused hamburgernormgroid smex on one end and nigggynog hiphop buttcheekfuckin on the other. Feetsies are about portable fluid symbolic value, as girlfeet are anatomically hyperliminal and that means your girlfren can basically initiate foreplay teasing u in broad daylight through a semiotic arbitrage maneuver and u likewise could give her a super aggressive foot massage or whathaveyou amidst a pickanick that in practice feels super bdsm-coded but nobody even notices. In different contexts they can connote both dominance / submission, embarrassment / contentment, comfort / shame, poverty / wealth, etc. etc. And relatedly while I myself am super dooper dominant feet also let me fuck relatively the kind of fakeandgay-femdommy types a chick now and then who needs to like snark at you while you’re tearin her up and who I can experience as me fakeraping her while she thinks I’m being ridonk in a manner of like a dog lapping at her feet, which creates yet another fairly splendid semiotic arbitrage effect. And then there’s also yet another thing at play in that girlfeet can be super fucking photographable in almost a quasi pokemon card way which naturally fries ur noggin’s reward center like shit lemme tell u lads and at times also can turn a feller into a tragicomic sole-addicted smexaddict whose google photos page looks something like dis
I keep getting distracted… alright ackshully just one more part here because it’s juicy and then we do How-To like daddy promised. Or ackshully one part and two chunks:
Alright first one—So remember when I talked about that one first girlfriend earlier? Turns out she’d unironically been famous for her gorgeous feet back on golden age /b/ on 4chan. The unfortunate thing about that though is she was only like 13 when she started posting so… ya. Needless to say it wasn’t just feet. Her shit was everywhere for maybe 15 years… I think it may have been nuked now by the Motherless freeze but idk. Anyway I didn’t learn about it all until we’d been dating a few weeks and I was super in love with this tall blonde nerdstacy tradwife whose legal name I then discovered was tied to all these fucking results calling her a cumdumpster and dehumanizing her. And I won’t tell her story past that because it isn’t really mine to tell, but I will say her feet just fuckin were fantastic boys (we met when we were both 22 dw) and I kind of like knowing thousands of footfags across the globe have lusted after hers and I’m one of like only three-four guys to have ackshully tasted em. And so I don’t care if niggers think they asses are cool, this is a more somatically salient hierarchy to me. Fuck u. <3
Alright my second one—to me feet I think also have a quasi-oppositional culture valence of e.g. loyalty to particularity and eccentricity and personal appetite against corndog runza Scott Frost Nebraskan-Hobbitism / tidderslove as well as niggynog anti-recursive affectmaxxing and buttcheeks chauvinism. Feetsies are a way to tell both of those poles that I don’t give a single solitary fuck that they’re ostensibly more “normal” and that frankly they can all go get set on fire.
That’s the only rational attitude to have.
Pluralism is the attitude of the roach under the shoe begging for less pressure.
If you want your thing to survive you need to at least affect the posture of wanting to totalistically rape and betray and ban every1 else.
Alright I think that’s all quite enough preamble.
So—ladies: how specifically ought you go about taking a feetpic?
First let’s get a couple things out of the way:
Guys who like e.g. smelly or dirty girlfeet are a separate type ontologically than guys who like clean feet; for the former it’s tied directly to a maladaptive femdom valence that girls very rightly experience as groace, which means such guys are probs more directly responsible for unjustified 13/50-type ick contra footfags than Nickelodeon. So I say gas them—unironically; it’s gross. Whenever I fuged a girl with stink feet back in the day I made her shower off first #sovereign. But anywho my point here is that if this is your type of dude I don’t really have anything to say to you about it as I don’t see him as an actor-class ontologically so much as roach.
The variant of footfag most guys are treats them in a very similar way functionally to how boobguys tend to treat boobs, though given the above disquisition they’re obv also more prone to like fetishistic capture and obsession. But if you’re a girl who reads me substack you probably are into that sort of thing so w/e. All that said I ackshully do need you to know here—and I’m not talking about me I’m bringing the oral tradition of like decades of annoyed footfag porn comments—that the single most common complaint in footporn is that the girl’s face and personality aren’t coming through enough or that it’s too gauchely soletotalist in a manner lots of footfags find lowkey sort of overwhelming and crass and probs at times induce autist sensory issues. Moreover if you can just like turn off your solipsistic womanny foidbrain for a min and see things from his vantage he’s almost certainly not experiencing you in any kind of deindividuated way (ofc all dudes do that to bihs generally; I mean no more than usual) and if anything will be wanting to uniquely experience ur individuality through your feets. Girls vary insanely in arch height toe length forefoot width and so on so it’s plausible your soles offer more somatically-felt discriminative force for him than ur face does.
So I think it might be instructive here to start the real inquiry at what one oughtn’t do:
Generally when you ask a chickie for feetsies first time bae will dismiss it somatically as silly-adjacent while not lending much thought if any as to what would ackshully be even remotely appealing and so will send something that’s invariably a version of this:
I might as well masturbate to a loaf of bread.
Though for the record—that chick right there had SPLENDID feet!
She just couldn’t shoot them for shit—sad!
Note this one was ackshully that 6’1 seventh day adventist chemist chickie who ended up becoming Uncle Walt’s numero dos sexual partner after I took her to an escape room and acted like a tough guy then kissed her in an ice cream parlor yum yum.
but then Natalie came back after ghosting me a year and stole me back ezpz on account of being unironically in the top .01% of the planetary foid population in general feetpic acumen on account of her somewhat unfortunate past having also proffered almost limitless southern-gothic coded practical experience in that domain.
Now clearly it was also and tbh mostly because Natalie was my first / twue love etc.. BUT it’s also true the other chickie’s inability to provide decent feetpix after she said she wanted to pump the brakes sexually on account of being ackshully religious or w/e ostensibly (think she mb didn’t like a few of my more ultraspecific requested poses too which felt super slutty to her mb???) kind of sealed the deal. The only halfway decent feetpic I ever got of that chick was one of her on her belly on a Hawaiibed with soles up behind her back and like shot into a mirror five miles away. Nothing else she sent even hinted at those in meatspace wholly delectable arches… and to me it all just read somatically as horribly insulting. Luckily I ended up taking many many many pics of em during our few hookups that even now I pleasure myself to a few times / annum.
Oh and speaking of Sleazy Walt: in 2023 amidst the worst of my postbestiesuicide year of anomie / dissociation I had this like elaborate addictive run of scamming coeds on SeekingArrangement for feetpix through a burner apparatus and then getting them to do all these hyper specific and degrading poses or like sing I’m a Little Teapot etc. whilst wigglin they toesies or like suckin em and all that shit for me was kind of just like maximalist redemptive conative itchscratching in almost a Don Giovanni way?
I have def told that story loads of times now… frankly I’m kind of just doing an inb4 thing as a few of those chicks like threatened to call the piglets on me when I didn’t venmo them $500 for feetsies which tbh I kind of wish they had since I’d have really enjoyed hearing how specifically that convo went but on the other hand idk I’m kind of also public enough now that one might one day come across me and besides that kind of just independently feel deeply in my marrow that a feller must always stay ahead of the story even when he technically didn’t do anything wrongwrong given that Zoomettes are all kind of merciless condottieri with BPD except the one reading this right now who I ackshully do think is fairly unique pumpkin sweetie little hunnybun
idk
fuck it let’s speedball all this before I end up writing my fifth book.
Here are some good general feetpicheuristics.
MAKE SURE THE LIGHT IS FACING SOLES—ALWAYS
I know you have shitty visual-spatial so try to just adopt a prior of leaning ur phone against the wall and reversing the phonecam instead of trying to take pics of mirrors which while I appreciate the spoopy southern gothic coding confuses the image compositionally unless you get a really splendid creative tops + bottoms view in the same shot angle. But it probs isn’t werf it… just lean ur phone against the wall and sit on the floor and you can do precisely any good feetpose that way.
Always include your face in the shot!!!—and also full body where feasible. Most footfags who aren’t gross dirtysmellyniggers are constantly complaining about faceless anonymized pictures that mean nothing. And this is also why chicks who think they’ll make money “selling feet pics” are kind of retarded because they almost always start out not wanting to put their face in and nobody is dropping hard cheddar for some low grade anonymous 360pfilipinapic that can’t even ruin your life possibly.
Some guys are super into soles specifically whereas others are more into tops—though between you and me I tend to think topfags are mostly just spergs who get kind of overwhelmed by soles somatically and perhaps feel vaguely embarrassed about wanting to fuck em and so are doing a John Kasich reasonable republican please don’t laugh at me niggerbuttcheekman thing cough piotr pachota cough since they inhabit a probably too thicc monoculture or local community to afford any overt deviance. And the reason I think all this is I myself used to like tops for precisely that reason (tho also because too much of the solestuff at that point in time was dirtysmellynigger coded or even super overt femdom shit. You couldn’t get good maledom footporn where he just like dominated her and licked her feet and shit like a boob until maybe around 2017 I think? But anyway I think nails are usually a super big part of it for topguys and I sort of am adjacent to that impulse myself insofar as I want and lowkey demand girlypops always get their toenails painted white for me which working class lasses are always fine with but chicks from more affluent orders always find a gay and homosexual reason to act like a cunt about—and also I HATE red polish bc it feels like incest rape oedipal bleh.
I ackshully think there’s a pretty thick and persistent toenail color semiotics here wherein white is like concubine owned woman and pink is DDLG and red is like Lane Scott dour rapemom and blue is le quirky artsy subcultural girl and black is being melodramatic and nowhere near as tough as she thinks.
If we step back from Waltine solipsism even more and look just squarely at the modal nondirtysmellynigger footfag I’d say there’s hugely shared morphological preference paired with sharp divergence at the level of overall size that I suppose is often D/s valenced but that feels super fucking pedestrian to me excuse the pun. Although circling back what basically all guys enjoy here is a high arch, relatively long toe to foot length, fairly narrow heels and forefoot, and (this should frankly go without saying) not super fucking groty shitty dead skin all over and calluses and shit or like fungi everywhere. Beyond that though the breakdown is whether guys fetishize smallness and will give up the arch for it or more fetishize extreme archiness and so give up size for that which is basically your humble author just in a more dominant-valenced way which means I don’t like how it’s portrayed as quasi-dominatrix coded especially given tall girls are usually quite a lot shyer and materially more bashful about having they feets fucked than shorties and not even seeing that dynamic clearly is kind of sus and trannyfucker-coded imo.
Girls are really fucking wretched at understanding when they ackshully have cute feet, which is very annoying since nine times in ten a girl’s amenability to having em licked or played with whilst ur blowing her out is closely correlated with her like “foot self esteem.” The thing is womyn are kind of retarded about most things in life and so radically overindex specifically on shoe size here, such that a girl with ridic high arches and long toes with a delicate heel and forefoot will feel like Shaq because she wears a size 9 at 5’10 etc, which is obviously a Down Syndrome take. Objectively. But the dirtysmellyniggers don’t help by literally calling such women’s feet “BIG FEET” because such men are disgusting submissive rats that make such women want nothing to do with the gynopodogestalt when IRL those women tend to be experienced when footfuckin em as kind of like shy pearl from steven universe types getting conquered coded. And meanwhile on the other hand you have girlypops who think they feeties are all that super smexy specifically because they’re super small which on the one hand is useful for bootstrapping the receptive side of podoeroticism but on the other hand can be irksome when she has kind of cramped toes or mid arch and still thinks she’s baby kitten angelfeet whatever just cause she’s 4’11 (note to the aforementioned zoomette who asked me if I liked that her feet were small and I said yes to: yours ackshully genuinely are nice because of shape / morphology but I don’t really care about size qua size which feels to me vaguely manlet / incel / asian coded? Still if I did marry you I’d probably start narrating tall women’s feet as less dainty because everyone on the planet is a cringing coping faggot and we need to operate that way or the universe just seems a maximalist roachy rapecell. But anyway my point is: yours are great and I promise I’m not just saying that). Anyway both failure modes are super real.
Anyway when it comes to ackshual feetpic-by-feetpic composition principles:
If he’s relatively dom coded you want static shots that feature soles and other high value bodyparts compositionally oriented toward him. Ankles uncrossed, soles facing camera always, kind of a concubiney body language. Lots of guys like the opposite though with creativity acrobatics and kim possible poses (a few girls broke up with me back in the day because I didn’t like that shit lel).
Generally you want to always have at least SOME view of dat arch as it’s kind of the whole entire point of girlfeet and where most of the visible dimorphism consists hence womyn naturally arching they feet whilst flirting etc.
Don’t you ever do that stupid faggoty thing where he asks you to lick ur foot or suck your toesies and u keep your tongue an inch away from the surface as tho he won’t even notice it or decide that ackshully we’re playing forcefields now. Trying to Reform Judaism my degradation order smh. I swear at least like two dozen separate Zoomettes have tried that shit with me at this point and I don’t get it at all. Interestingly Millennial women don’t really ever seem to do that tho they either just lick their foot like a dog or say no. #sociology.
Footfag culture esp nowadays is often just inherently kind of sugar-adjacent insofar as whether he’s approaching it dominantly or submissively he’s always treating her like the trophy of veneration and it’s super overtly asymmetric in a pampering-coded way which means it’s relatively normal for a girl sending a guy feetpix to like jokehint about him buying her a pedicure or shoes and it wouldn’t really read the same way as it would outside the fetishistic container. I know even my girlboss first manager who’d never in a million years have signed up for SA if she were younger would still joke all the time about her old “shoe fairy” so I think it’s truly a container that cheaply permits bounded experimentation with asymmetric lifestyle without leaning into it completely.
Be careful how close your feet are to the lens. This will be hit or miss because some dudos will basically want to eat you and see every pore and others will poop their pants if the close-cam distortion fucks it up too much.
If he has an android make sure you send via dropbox or something or the resolution will be shitty and he might just ignore it because he doesn’t want you to make a gay joke about him having an Android.
Now let’s talk incorporating feets / tidders / pusspuss, starting with canonical poses:
Usually the most erotic nude composition for footfags is the PLASTT Pose, which you can find on google but long story short is the one chemist chickie had called too slutty for her and essentially is like face+tits+assho+pusspuss+feetsies all in a winsome smorgasbord like she’s totalistically pinned to your erotic register and mayhaps also google photos album for permanent horcrux-coded fuckspection.
The other big one is what’s oft called The Pose which I myself always thought was super gay but anyway it’s the one that has the chickie on her belly with feetsies up behind her. This admittedly is a very splendid configuration for facefucking bae’s brunch out whilst she wiggles her toesies behind her, and eats cum but just when it comes to pictures is just a bit supermarketmommagazinecoded imo.
From behind is also baller if he likes asshole especially because you can put soles and shitter like right next to each other (ALSO: reverse cowgirl is a high voltage sex position for footfags because they can play with your feets and assho at will and still feel dominant while also being super fucking lazy)
The fundamental principle behind taking feetnudes is to take the same sort of nudie pic you’d normally send a guy and also figure out a way to throw in soles or toenails in each depending which he prefers. Also throw in the standard semiotic coding shit as befits your power play / age play / race play or whatever dynamic.
Some other big-ticket points:
One essential thing to consider is that while most footfags aren’t anywhere near as deranged as Sir Walter Bismarck the sperg connection is real and if you check out e.g. feet hentai you’ll see that it has materially more iteration and duplication than one observes in adjacent genres which tells me I’m onto something about the structure of the kink having an almost OCDish quality. Thus you can win a lot of points with a footman if you make sure to send reasonably comprehensive sets of pictures with some modicum of compositional and thematic unity and no loose ends. Make sure all the holes get their day, make sure all angles are covered, and so forth. It might be annoying but if you can scratch that itch in a way other girls won’t you can manipulate him super fucking easily so
I suspect most of the individual preference difs between fellers would reduce mostly to whether he prefers you looking sunny or moody, animated or languid, that sort of thing. That stuff you can ask him. But what you DO want to make sure you have locked down is getting all the lighting and distance right and above all making sure you know how to keep that fucking arch legible.
Some chicks here might also want to know about monetization
If you go through OnlyFans you’ll probably make essentially nothing and still feel like a whore afterward. If you go through Seeking there are a ton of ways it could land both really good and really bad and it’s so underdetermined it’s probs not a great idea unless you’re already familiar with the ecology. But if you want to try it and also want to avoid getting scammed reach out and I’ll give u the scoop on how to avoid peepo like 2023 Walt. Then finally if you have tons of agency and a somewhat successful Insta or Twitch or some shit that also wouldn’t get its brand eviscerated if it came out you were selling feet pics that is the way you can make pretty dece cash from smitten whales and loophole benders trying to arbitrage their way into puss. If you engage with that element selectively you can probably get like Chipotle paid somewhat regularly at a min—but besides that to make real shekies in sex work you honestly do kind of just have to take cock. Just how it is.
Alright so in this last part I’ll give my chickie readers some Walt-endorsed example poses that they might one day try and imitate if ever seriously involved with a footfag.
This was ackshully the reason I wrote all this malarkey in the first place, believe it or not… I need a proper canon of Waltine Feet Poses I can send bihs in my DMS without making them all bitchy by way of censoredface exgf pictures ~it takes me out of it. stfu
So with that said—all of the following chickies are entirely fictional characters.
Hope you find it useful.
Alright so ackshully we’re gonna have one last final final section here for the fellers.
There are three stages when introducing a foot fetish to a chick
At first she’ll either A) be turned on by you qua you and so decide anything u like is smexy; B) she’ll think it’s silly, which will usually turn quite easily into enjoying footplay once you’ve smashed a few times; C) she thinks it’s disgusting/pathetic. If it’s C then everything depends on the ackshual felt structure of the disgust, which at times itself can be cannily transmuted into lust and novelty-seeking within a quasi adversarial frame. Usually though there are two explanations for a girl thinking footfags are gross: 1) she herself has feet she thinks are groace and so doesn’t like the idea of podoeroticization qua itself because that attacks her own erotic self-concept—note this variant itself breaks down into e.g. tall girls with high arches who are being stupid and often quickly develop the receptive mirror versus chicks with busted feet who are unsalvagable basically; 2) she is disgusted because of the low status / smelly / submission coding, which if you have decent game you can kind of bulldoze through by overriding her felt somatic coding. It isn’t ever certain though and you will need some good status technology to shift around priors in a serious way. But there is a really good semiotic immunization dynamic too there where if she already thinks it’s submissive that ackshully in a sense buys you more narrative runway to be dominant and aggro.
While you’re incorporating her in a situationship frame etc. into something with ambiguous futurity is where you get the most spontaneous repricing and betrayal potential. This is when you’re most semiotically plastic in her eyes and so you often get this dynamic where it feels like you diachronically incorporated her and she genuinely adopts many of your frames and erotic grammar but then at last defects. Looking back on my Orlando years I had a lot of wall crashes at this stage and I think what it was is that you need community anchoring or else everyone is just gonna roachmax all the time. You can love each other more than anything but have environments reprice you both way too fast until the dyad just can’t hold out anymore robustly due to requiring too much metacognitive bandwidth to model accurately. Anyway: feet—point is at this stage it’s incredibly common for a girl to think your weird kink is hot on night 1 because it’s like a vector through which you know her uniquely and lust after her in a novel way and then on night 2 she’s like omg why can’t this weirdo fuck me instead of taking 40,000 more photos of my soles over and over even though you were doing the same thing last night and she just saw your boss yell at you or something or you got cut off in traffic. It will probs feel like mutual gaslighting since the interpretive volatility is maximally dialed up.
Once she’s stably in the dyad it’s different. What usually happens is she starts out experiencing it as your weird thing she sincerely enjoys doing because it makes U happy and becomes diachronically incorporated as your dyad itself does into a greater social ecology and also as your sex life picks up various residue that make it kind of a felt shared historic superstructure thing she now perceives herself as having a deep and crucial editorial role in, at which point you’re quite a lot less likely to ever hear e.g. IM ONLY DOING THAT BC YOU LIKE IT! Past that point chickie starts taking deep deep identity in ur decisions and traits in all sorts of harder ways that reflect firmer embodied anchoring: taking your politics, your ideas, and eventually even fetishes in the native object-level grammar.
And maybe u think #3 sounds kind of unc-coded, but it’s lowkey also the most fun of all of them if ur evil bc you can like get babygirl to write all sorts of horrible shit on her soles one moment and eat ur cum off em the next and then her own dindin off of them the moment after that… kind of whatever you want tbh, and if you aren’t a fag she experiences it all as being your plucky sidekick and not some abused woman.
Oh god Walt…AI Lindsay Clancy feet pics??? It’s hard to know what to write in this comment box sometimes.