Jewish people should give me money

Help me fight antisemitism for fun and profit (but mostly profit)

Morning frens.

Tonight I’ll be formally debating my esteemed colleague Norman Eckart on a number of topics pursuant to my thinkpiece White Nationalism is Anti-White, Norm’s rebuttal, and my rebuttal to his rebuttal.

This will be a structured debate covering the following important topics:

• Imperialism vs. Nationalism

• American Demographics (think Enclavism vs. Racial Nationalism)

• The Jewish Question

The reason I’m writing the present article is that I’ve taken up the cause of the Jew in public conversations with prominent White Nationalists on several occasions now, and have observed on literally every occasion I’ve done this that I’ve been bombarded in subsequent days with accusations that I myself am secretly a Jew. Hell, I’m quite certain that by this point I’ve suffered more from antisemitism than most actual Jews! But just as common are suggestions that I’m operating in bad faith, or was at some point bribed by organized Jewry to adopt a philosemitic posture.

And that’s what gave me the idea for this article.

Because if either way White Nationalists are gonna think I’m getting paid by The Jews to be a Dumb Goy, wouldn’t it be nice if I… ya know… actually got paid for it?

My sales pitch here is pretty simple.

First and foremost, I’d argue that I’m deradicalizing higher IQ and more sophisticated antisemites a lot more effectively than literally any of your public advocates right now. In terms of raw numbers I’m obviously a small fry, but you’re still far better situated giving your shekels to Walter than any official deradicalization outfit that thinks it’s super cereal because it manipulates broke neonazi retards into abandoning their entire worldview by offering them a ham sandwich or something.

Such victories are hollow and gain Jews nothing but a quick win for fundraising efforts. They certainly don’t help you fight antisemitism in the battle of ideas, and if anything you’d be a lot better off not deradicalizing those guys, because in practice low status wignats are the Jew’s most effective advocates. In basically every WN group these fellers have a way of turning the discourse into a perpetual race to the bottom while alienating potential allies. Half of them literally have schizophrenia or some shit and legit don’t seem right in the head, yet capable WNs will still insist you tolerate them bc muh White brother, which inevitably just tanks everything from the get-go.

Anyway my point here is the actual threat to your position comes almost entirely from the more scholarly type of antisemite—a breed the ADL et al have historically either addressed with an insanely heavy hand or marginalized by denying he even exists. Both of those approaches were effective at brute forcing the issue when residual Holocaust guilt still reigned supreme and Jewish power in America was more consolidated, but these days there are simply too many poopy campus thirdworldists who hate you, so for the first time in decades you need to be rhetorically compelling to us filthy goyim because a maximalist strategy is no longer viable. But by ignoring the bigbrain antisemite—and certainly by reacting hysterically to him—you only give credence to his claim that you’re a neurotic yenta operating in bad faith.

So what’s a better approach to deradicalization? The thing is a lot of antisemites have never once had the opportunity to discuss these matters openly with a Jewish person, and are just gaming around an expectation of hysterical paranoia. So something as simple as being masculine and arguing in a rational way that acknowledges Jewish interests and fearlessly interrogates questions of dual loyalty etc. will get you to a pretty decent place most of the time. See my podcast episodes with Ancient Problemz, Non-Zionism, and King Salmon for different flavors of this.

But there I go being a Stupid Goy and losing track of my sales pitch! The goal here was to convince you to give ME money—not make the argument yourselves!

So below are some reasons it’s in your interest to invest in Walt Bismarck:

• I’ve been writing on Substack for a little over a year now, and in that time have established a decently influential publication read by a diverse array of heterodox intellectuals on the Right and Center. My followers are eclectic and contrarian, comprising both a large number of Wine Track antisemites and tons of Jews. Encouraging interaction and cross pollination between these elements has already promoted and will continue to promote a mutual understanding that cuts through visceral animosity as personal connections develop here and there.

• I’ve noticed Jews have always been a lot more tolerant of me cracking antisemitic jokes etc. than other goyim—probably because so many of my mannerisms and speech patterns code as somewhat Jewish, so it feels vaguely fraternal coming from me in a way it wouldn’t from some Aryan chud in Nebraska. This means I can say philosemitic things with an antisemitic flavor to maintain credibility with both groups and facilitate a dialogue between Jews and White Nationalists in a way no actual Jew or more overtly goyish WN would be able to.

• One reason I’m especially good at this is that in 2015-2016 I made quite a name for myself doing the opposite and saying antisemitic things with a philosemitic flavor. The tables have simply turned now.¹

• If you toss me a few tendies for defending the tribe’s interests in the public square that will prove to antisemites that A) Walter Bismarck is not, in fact, a foolhardy shabbos goy for trusting his Jewish frens; 2) your community is willing to reward loyalty after the fact and buy the cow even when the milk is free. A lot of WNs are Scotch-Irish and have a deeply internalized Honor Culture that values reciprocity above all else, so this will have tremendous purchase with them and legitimately change hearts and minds—especially because it will prove my thesis that Jews often follow a white collar / wordcel / mediated version of the same impulse.

• Even if you don’t think my deradicalization efforts are likely to have much of an impact, simply giving Wally B more resources to invest in cool shit is intrinsically Good For The Jews. It’s just an oxygen dynamic; the more influence I have in heterodox right wing circles the less influence people who hate you have. You People are famously talented at messaging, so I’m sure you can see how useful it is for there to exist an offramp into substantive philosemitism through moderate rhetorical antisemitism. I’ll build that offramp ten times better than anyone else.

• I just did the math, and it turns out 45.4% of my long term girlfriends over the years have been Jewish or Mischling. When I have ChatGPT cross-reference this proportion against demographic data in my city of residence it indicates I am 46 times more likely to date a Jewess than a Shiksa. So just statistically speaking, any money you give me has a pretty decent chance of eventually financing the creation of additional Jews. That said, in the interest of transparency I’ll freely admit I’m currently chasing a WASP girl quite earnestly, so it’s not in the cards as of this moment. Still she hasn’t texted me back since last night, so hopefully one of you will serve to make the other jealous. edit 9:13 AM - Got a text! Thx Jews <3

• If we actually pulled this off it would be really funny.

Anyway if you want to donate the GoFundMe is here.

Should probably have the debate up tonight—be sure to tune in once it’s posted, as jousting with Norman is always great fun and you’re sure to enjoy the fireworks.

Enjoy your weekend, boys!

— Cap’n Walt

1. …or have they?