Mushroom

Hnnnnng!

Mushroom in the forest
Surrenders all his spores
They spread on tongues and soles and souls
Of schoolgirls masked as whores

Siloed psilocybin
Underleveraged; overwrought.
Shall Brando star as animus
To thirty types of thot?

Mushroom in the garden
Fuck, he makes the Orchid cringe
Her sugar's worth his nutrients 
But she'd swipe left on Hinge

Underground mycelium!
Shiitake Khazad-dûm!
"I know not what you speak of, chode.
Please let my petals bloom."

Mushroom in your local zoo
He puts on quite the show
Resplendent foxfire pageantry
Sclerotia thick and low

Precocious Painted Lady
Barely out of her cocoon
Coquettishly she flits above
She'll sigh, but never swoon

That wiley mister centipede 
With forcipules of poop...
Is Painted Lady in his grasp?
The shroomster's not in loop!

He scratches his sclerotia
minds his mycoforest mates

Then shrugs and grabs a slug 
and with its mug he masturbates!