My lunch with Worst Boyfriend Ever
a meeting of the minds
Yesterday I had lunch with
.
The spirited young rascal and I had been planning to meet up for several weeks now, and I’m proud to say we finally made it happen.
Yes he showed me the van. It smelled a lot less like pussy than originally anticipated—more like lavender if anything. He actually keeps it remarkably clean! I was genuinely impressed because I’d sort of imagined the dude was fucking all these girls on a giant pile of crumbs and trash. But in truth it’s quite cozy and probably feels like camping.
Anyway you’re probably wondering what we spoke about.
The lad gave me express permission to write about anything and everything that came up during our excursion, so I figured I’d simply give you curious cats a play-by-play.
Naturally I’ll be doing this entirely from behind the paywall—not really for the money (these days my Substack income is peanuts compared to what I clear from Tortuga) but because I’d really like a solid orange check and know you boys will pay for this.
So toss Cap’n Walt a couple dubloons and venture forth below to uncover the following treasures:
my candid perspective on the enigma that is WBE
insight into the lad’s creative process and what makes him irresistible to girls
a behind-the-scenes glimpse at the young rake’s wacky escapades
a detailed account of the clever monetization advice I offered WBE
a scandalous vignette of our sexual rivalry over a very special little art hoe
an exclusive offer for all aspiring young rakes out there
Are you seriously gonna tell me that’s not worth $5?