My Predictions For Gen Alpha

You heard it here first

99% of projections about Gen Alpha are forecasting them as “Zoomers but more so,” which imo is very lazy.

Here are some better ones:

• They’ll be much less autistic than Zoomers overall due to covid hitting them early enough to absorb/recover from and (in the ones from better families) a departure from screens having occurred early enough to meaningfully improve life outcomes

• Having come up in a hypermodern panopticon and mature digital oral culture they’ll code switch and perform socially even more than Zoomers, and it is far less conscious. The Alphoid boy believes his own BS to the same degree as Zoomettes while the Alphette essentially has DID by Millennielle standards.

• Kind of a “mass man” quality you haven’t seen since the Silent Generation thanks to algobrain pushing everyone into maximally legible frames and a tendency to brand all unconventional behavior / status arbitrage tactics as “Cope”

• Precognitively status-fixated in the same vein as Zoomers but to them it’s so normal they feel no need to moralize or aestheticize it even in the half-assed way most Low Zoomers still feel obliged to do around oldpeepo. Instead Alphettes will overtly moralize physiognomy / power while the men will lack that distinctly Zoomer Boy sense of quiet tragedy and solidarity in masculine pain

• Having said that Alphoids will be better at keeping they bitches in line because unlike Zoomer Boys they won’t feel any residual need to impress Millennial and Xer men and so won’t experience any cognitive dissonance from code switching or wanting the world to make sense. They’ll also have caught up with girls finally in the social arms race through the adoption of their own digital gossip networks and will be a lot better than Alphettes at fabricating artifacts with AI to humiliate adversaries, creating more of a baseline fear of male ruthlessness

• Widespread AI use will more generally create a sort of Wonderland Fugue where nothing seems real or linear / symmetrical anymore. This plus a gradual shift toward a UBI economy will continue to feminize and liquify epistemics, with the operative standard now even in spergier dudes being more “how will this sell?” as opposed to “does this track?”

• Rise of blue collar work + UBI scrounging will make overtly aggressive masculine presence a viable strategy again. Thus the Millennial hipster and Zoomer fuckboy are succeeded by the Alphoid Thugmaxxer

• In prole men you’ll see a shift away from aping elite preference for lean frames to historic ideal of large muscles. In elites it will be skinnyfat ozempic androgynes chasing ottermode. Ideal girl body types will be thick & boob-focused in proles and ultraslender / vaguely preteen-adjacent in elites.

• Even white Alphettes will be shamelessly hypergamous at the level of modern black women and get regularly flown out by celebrities / random rich dudes or stolen from their boyfriend in public Clavicular-style dominance displays. This becomes in time a major cause of youth violence even in UMC men akin to Renaissance-era street brawls or Jacksonian-era dueling culture. IRL violence coming back among rich boys is basically inevitable when you combine extreme hypergamy with the death of feminizing stable office work.

• Slave morality is dead at this point in young people and we’re effectively living in a toothless-peasants-on-the-gates-of-Troy-pointing-and-laughing-at-Hector’s-dessicated-corpse era. Millennials and older Zoomers probably will have a hard right shift after seeing how bad it’s gotten.

• Zoomers born between 9/11 and Obama become the new intermediary translator generation like 90s niggas are today, as Alphas won’t be mutually intelligible even with Late Millennials most of the time.

• Alphas will see Zoomettes kind of how Millennials saw Gen X women and see Zoomer Boys as ghosts mostly. Zoomer Boys will try to date down but will get cockblocked by performatively moralistic female peers and wholesome chungus Matt Walsh dads unless they’re specifically an AI startup founder or doing some kind of evilmaxxed rapevan strat and are theatrically withholding enough to compete with both youthful rizz and cheugy institutional abundance.

• Meanwhile it will start to become hilariously normal for Zoomettes to sugar himbomaxxed Alphoid boys, a lot of times while remaining subinfeudated to a Millennial sugar daddy of her own, and you could see a kind of stratified polycule structure emerging from this wherein Zoomer Boys feel assailed from both ends and uniquely excluded because covid shredded them at the worst possible time

• Midstatus aggrieved Zoomer boys will probably come to lead clockwork orange gangs of diarrhea-tier Thugmaxxed Alphoids to break into affluent Millennial homes and rape the wife while making off with all their lightsabers / funko pops