I’m an incredibly extraverted person, but as a general rule I don’t really do IRL friends.
One reason for this is that I experience a rather severe disgust response when forced to interface with people who aren’t 115+ IQ and at least 80th percentile in trait openness. Thankfully on platforms like Substack folx like that are a dime a dozen; pretty much every single person reading this will fit that description, and I’d likely be overjoyed to grab a beer with you, the reader. And if we did that you’d likely clock me as a little strange but probs not even actually autistic, because my social skills around other eccentric intellectuals are genuinely superb (at least when I’m rested).
But that’s just because I’m like 150+ verbal and that makes it trivial to mask around other bigbrains and get them to enjoy my company just by talking about shit they care about while occasionally throwing out wacky and novel takes. I also spent the better part of my twenties accumulating an intricate studied knowledge of things like social debt and leverage and status hierarchies and power dynamics, which allows me to defend myself against other sleazy narcs and cut them down to size when necessary.
But around unwashed normgroids I actually do feel like Chris Chan on occasion, as on a purely visceral level I genuinely do sort of want them all to be tortured to death. Please understand this response is entirely involuntary and also physiological—when annoyed in this very particular way I experience an intense itching sensation on my scalp, alongside a storm of sadistic and violent thoughts. But I don’t especially like that about myself, hence my decision to optimize my life around not having to associate with the sort of people who induce such feelings.
Another reason I don’t do IRL friends is that while I very much enjoy social interaction with capable interlocutors it feels like IRL massively raises the salience of competitive power dynamics in a way that frequently eviscerates hard-won rapport—most of the time IRL male friends will either become my LeFou or my rival.
And in fairness it is quite fun to accumulate a couple LeFou’s in your early twenties. But such niggas literally always overstay their welcome, because they never contribute anything to the friendship other than cheap junk food validation. They’ll also betray you the moment they can no longer coast off your superior social capital, as well as for even the faintest whiff of female validation (originally I said pussy, but let’s be real). Nobody with actual shit to do has time for sycophants. Meanwhile hanging out with your rivals actually can be quite fun, but this also induces a surge of cortisol best experienced on a rather calculated basis—nature’s Addy.
Female friends are obviously an entirely different landscape. Generally with girls I’ll either need to fuck them or put myself in a position to fuck them eventually maybe or position myself as their next rebound. But whatever the case they do have to be hot—most girls aren’t interesting enough to befriend on their own merits, and I usually find it rather annoying when life forces me to talk with a girl I don’t want to have sex with.
I don’t really care if she wants to have sex with me back, but she does need to at least flirt with me a bit to make me think I have a chance. That gives me a foot in the door whether she realizes it or not, because in my experience the line between friendzone and talking stage is blurry if you’re emotionally volatile and have a high verbal IQ. That’s the way you benefit from the paleolithic war bride rewriting history thing.
Can platonic male-female friendship exist without a cringe asymmetry in enthusiasm? Clearly—if only because it codes as high status to say so and there must be a reason.
I suspect it’s all gravy provided both parties are high SMV, emotionally stable, and in committed monogamous relationships. Those dynamics can actually be really fun because they allow you to microdose cheating in a plausibly deniable way by flirting a bit knowing it will never lead to anything. For more normie types this arrangement is truly splendid. But I myself am almost certainly too Faustian by temperament to keep something like this up with anyone close to my own age—or even someone younger than me, unless she’s much younger. Perhaps in my forties.
At least I’m mature enough to be friends with an older married woman. She still needs to be good-looking or I’ll just get bored talking to her, but these days I have enough self-control to respect a woman’s marriage. I don’t really respect boyfriends though. And if you think about it that actually makes me the ultimate Friend To Women, as these days rascals like Walt are the only thing compelling niggas to buy the cow.
Anyway back on topic—IRL friends.
For a long time I was besties with another Alt Right eceleb who even became my roommate for a bit and for a few solid years was very genuinely like a brother to me. I’ll write about him at some point, but am holding off for now because if he doesn’t like it he’s probably one of the only people on the planet capable of embarrassing me in a battle of words. And obviously I’d give as good as I get, but it’s not worth starting since both of us are kind of insane narcs entirely willing to press the Big Red Button.
Anyway long story short he was another 150+ verbal with an insane natural talent for propaganda. And we had a really great dynamic going for a while, but eventually our differences in values and life trajectories came to a head and it started feeling like the plagues song in Prince of Egypt. Oftentimes the two of us would spend like six hours straight locking horns in intricate Talmudic debate taking account of our friendship. He actually was a Mischling, but significantly more goyish than me by temperament.
Other than him, I was good friends with a dude in Nebraska I still talk to on occasion. There was also that narcissistic Jew in my Goy story; the two of us had an incredibly fun bro dynamic for a while. He even paid me to find him girls on SA, but I stopped doing that after he pumped and dumped a girl I myself had seen a few times and she started trying to sow discord between us—I really should have seen that one coming. Thankfully he didn’t give a fuck and we were fine until the Canadian bitch proved far better at the same game. Oh and there was also this kid Kenny in middle school with whom I got into a fistfight Freshman year. I got suspended after that and it was this whole thing that eventually led to me doing the internet school so I could LARP as Doogie Hauser for a bit. But besides these guys I haven’t really had any intimate IRL friendships with other fellers—except with
who potentially counts since he stayed the night at my condo a few months ago (nothing gay happened).Actually maybe I can also count Mike—that’s the Puerto Rican I paid to watch me carry out Starting Strength during the Lockdown Era and yell at me if I didn’t go below parallel on my squats. Mike was half-Italian and around 107 IQ, so hanging out with him was tolerable. We got drinks a few times and it felt like an obligation but I was willing to extend that gesture of courtesy because I wanted him to like me. And for the most part he did, though our dynamic was still more transactional than it was with at least 70% of the women I was paying for sex and / or therapy at the time.
It also provoked an intense disgust response in me when Mike kept insisting he was natty, because I personally feel it’s DEEPLY unethical to tell young men you can look like that without any extracurriculars. But Mike was in his forties and I think this is just one of those generational things, because my Zoomer frens will talk about their tren cycles like it’s fucking nothing. If Mike heard them doing so he’d probably react in the same way Boomers do when I casually mention sugaring in mixed company.
Anyway I guess on Mike’s part he was somewhat annoyed that I only wanted to do compound lifts and wouldn’t waste time on timewasting shit like “calf raises.”
But that’s why I was paying Mike and not the other way around.
And much like my sugar babies, he couldn’t exactly argue with that.
A lot of the girls I met on Seeking in 2020-2023 became genuine friends for a time.