35 Comments
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Theon Ultima's avatar

"High Status: Texting everyone like they're an Uber Eats driver" — The truest of them all.

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Kryptogal (Kate, if you like)'s avatar

I don't know if you watched Girls, but I think almost all of the things that you listed here are perfectly captured by the characters. Now that I think on it, this is basically the entire theme of the show:

Low status: Marnie

Medium status: Shoshanna and Ray

Medium-high: Elijah

High status: Adam and most especially Jessa

Hannah's role is to float and bounce around, aspiring to Jessa's level but only sometimes achieving it, ricocheting back down to medium, and trying to stay out of low. Also if you haven't watched this show you really need to, you would love it more than you've ever loved anything in your life (not joking).

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Sebastian's avatar

I don’t think I wanna be high status now…

(fuck my guileless puritan-cavalier temperament)

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

The goal is to reach a point where you don't have to think about this

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Warmek's avatar

*experiences convenient autistic satori of simply never thinking of any of this at all*

Yes, I realize that's not *quite* what you said... ;)

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Sebastian's avatar

Fair point

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Sebastian's avatar

Did I effectively obfuscate self-aggrandizement Mr Bismarck?

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Kristoffer O’Shaugnessy's avatar

This will be effective in doing a number of things to thwart our treasonous and venal ‘high-status’ ruling elites at both macro and micro levels.

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PhineusGage's avatar

Dead-on accurate

(Proving I’m a mid)

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Piotr Pachota's avatar

Missed opportunity to frame this as an Status Online Assessment Quiz:

Low Status answer = 0, Medium Status answer = 1, High Status answer = 2

0 - 20 points - You are low status.

21-50 points - You are medium status.

51-70 points - You are high status.

I got 6 points, so I'm low status. Also, based on my assessment of what Walt does, he has 18 points and is also low status.

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

That sounds right

Though I'd argue it's impossible for a heterosexual male to go very far above 25 without losing respect from other men. It's a different social game entirely.

Tbh the main reason you want guys getting married is so there isn't an incentive for guys in their thirties and forties to act like this.

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Professor Axelrod's avatar

I scored 24 and I'm pretty conversant with high status environments, albeit no fashionista. I think you'd really have to try to play the courtier aggressively to climb higher.

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Aristides's avatar

I think I’m at a 31, which sounds right. But I much prefer reading low status writers. High status writers make me want to bang my head against a wall

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Yosef Hirsh's avatar

Substack gold.

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Sebastian Jensen's avatar

Hate it, but true.

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Oldman's avatar

Unfortunately a lot of the things you write as high status genuinely require you to be high status/have power. Or just harm you a lot if you do not have the ressources/power to act that way. Can’t easily fake status

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

That or be a good actor OR have a life optimized around avoiding consequences

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Rob's avatar

Satus is about signaling

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NaHCO3's avatar

Embodied Machiavellianism and Psychopathy is High Status if you have the logic to balance its extremes.

Got it.

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Meta Ronin's avatar

What's a Catspaw?

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Professor Axelrod's avatar

A minion (unless to you that means a little giggling yellow blob) or a pawn or an expendable henchman.

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E-Girl Addict's avatar

How is status defined here? Just wealth + network? How much people like you? It’s likely my stemcel training coming out but when people talk about status it’s very hand-wavy. I’m sure there could be intelligent people who have written about power dynamics that disagree with things on this list.

Ironically attempting to rigorously quantify status might be the lowest status thing you could do in real life, but fortunately for us formalizing things is helpful for arriving at accurate descriptions of the world and so the tradeoff seems worth it.

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

the wealth creation status hierarchy is totally different

the thing is we're approaching post-scarcity and for everyone basically competent the feminine status hierarchy quickly becomes more salient--to such an extent that opting out of masculine status hierarchies entirely is now an option for more cognitively feminine men

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glof's avatar

Is eating low status

My hunch is yes but I'll ask the master

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Aristides's avatar

Eating is low status

Taking pictures of your food and putting them in Instagram is Medium Status

Being on Ozempic but never admitting to it and only eating the occasional salad when no one is looking is High Status

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Professor Axelrod's avatar

Eating or conventionally dieting is low status

Performatively fasting is medium status; bottle service is a very expensive and ephemeral way to purchase status (it's sort of temporarily high status but in practice is medium status but flashy Tony Soprano high status)

Dining or having a private chef is high status

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glof's avatar

I think eating has been understood as something inherently kind of shameful and vulnerable, which is why breaking bread with someone is ultimately an act of vulnerability and then cooperation and even friendship.

There's theological ramifications to this as well.

But in terms of status, I do not ever see the Queen eating, if you catch my drift

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Professor Axelrod's avatar

Inviting someone to break bread with you (or otherwise to share a meal with you) implicitly puts them at your status level - or at least invites them to consider that they could be, if you are courting them - which is why it is a good place to play these sort of social / mating games.

You would see the King or Queen eating - generally to performatively signal that everyone else was allowed to start, and also of course to denote rank by proximity. But especially these days - overeating codes as low status, it's no longer popular to be Idi Amin or Kim Jong-un or William Taft (or, if you prefer, Robert Baratheon.)

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

Actually sort of

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Sabina 🧘🏿‍♀️💕's avatar

Omg, is this play about me…. Dickhead.

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Isaac Simpson's avatar

Lotta gold in here

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Koen's avatar

"High status: just Italian things"

Well played

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