39 Comments
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Uriah’s Wife's avatar

What utter trash. That’s 10 more minutes that could have been used to plunge my toilet.

Piotr Pachota's avatar

With all due respect, reading this was kind of like watching a full length porn movie - trying to follow it at first, but it's so slow that you just try to skip the boring stuff and foreplay, straight to the assfucking scene.

I don't think anal sex has to hurt though. The power play also works by putting her in a vulnerable position where you CAN decide to thrust harder to get more pleasure yourself and thus give less pleasure and more pain to her, but you DON'T. It's kind of like "choking" by lightly touching her throat - it's a vulnerable position where you CAN actually choke her but you DON'T. That's what makes it hot.

Carlos's avatar

Choking is much misunderstood. Basically applying pressure to the sides of the throat should be never done, because the vagus nerve runs there. Rather it is applying pressure upwards at the place where the jawbone meats the neck. This does not actually restrict breathing at all, but it is an incredible power move.

Iberian Wanderer's avatar

welp uncle Walt is definitely back on amphetamines lol

National Rust's avatar

What's with all the rape shit

Kryptogal (Kate, if you like)'s avatar

Ok, I officially give up my dream of tempting and cajoling you out of your Orcish ways and into some more Elven light or at least some Boromir. I have a terrible, borderline perverse and disabling amount of pride, so I really hate to ever give in or give up, it hurts me to do it, but clearly you win, I give up.

Walt Bismarck's avatar

I'd love to be Boromir but whenever you try you end up getting flattened and softened into Faramir. The ackshual way to be Boromir to aim for Lurtz.

Retro Future Land's avatar

Elves are based and Boromir somewhat, Orcs... not so much...

IceFl4re -'s avatar

You already got your Boromir and that Boromir is your husband (You said this yourself)

Walt has to be.... something else

Daniel's avatar

I think you are losing yourself in the character you’ve created for yourself.

Cary Cotterman's avatar

Half the human population evolved an orifice designed specifically for a penis to be inserted. There’s no need for any other.

Mark Goetz's avatar

I don't know who you are what the fuck I just read. It was very entertaining but no more thankyou

Nice Guy's avatar

This made me want to read Lord of the Rings again

Jonathan Lecun's avatar

Christopher Hitchens once said that the two most overrated things he could think of were lobster and anal sex. And what the interview should have said but didn’t was “Giving or receiving?”

PigeonReligion's avatar

Young nigga young Niigata yung nigga… you is gay as hell. Wanting to dom a woman is gay. No shame in that game but dont frame it as hetero. Rename this essay as ‘anal sex is for gays’. Because 4sure that is true. I respect gays and offer them rulership of the anus. Heterosexuality according to Freud links to procreation and you cannot gestate a baby in your asshole. Sad but true. Butts are not vaginas.

Dommin a woman is gay af. Respect you bro but this is gay.

Out and proud is beautiful.

John Kantor's avatar

Your AI has an attitude

Anonymous Dude's avatar

FWIW I prefer to dominate willing partners and give mostly pleasure. Less chance of them showing up angry on someone else's podcast in a year.

Yishayahu's avatar

Surprised you didn't delete his comment while muttering something about the friend enemy distinction under your breath.

Yishayahu's avatar

Did this actually happen? Link it king.

The Cultural Reckoning®'s avatar

You really tapped into the “sharing of personal experience” side of writing in this one. Aside from the typical rejection from those conditioned from the last decade of leftist censorship across all social platforms, what I can tell you about this piece is its continual build up to reach endless lackluster crescendos was what I found the most comical.

Good job, I look forward to the next work of art.

Dr. Thaddeus Kozinski's avatar

You’re a demonic nutcase. Repent or go to hell.