36 Comments
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Kryptogal (Kate, if you like)'s avatar

Ok, I officially give up my dream of tempting and cajoling you out of your Orcish ways and into some more Elven light or at least some Boromir. I have a terrible, borderline perverse and disabling amount of pride, so I really hate to ever give in or give up, it hurts me to do it, but clearly you win, I give up.

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

I'd love to be Boromir but whenever you try you end up getting flattened and softened into Faramir. The ackshual way to be Boromir to aim for Lurtz.

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Retro Future Land's avatar

Elves are based and Boromir somewhat, Orcs... not so much...

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IceFl4re -'s avatar

You already got your Boromir and that Boromir is your husband (You said this yourself)

Walt has to be.... something else

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The Soviet 401k's avatar

I'm also a high openness, neurotic autist, but of the progressive left variant, I also worked in elite PMC spaces. I find your politics vile, abhorrent and an afront to everything I believe in personally but you're funny and a good writer so I still read your work. Verbal recognizes verbal.

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Cary Cotterman's avatar

Half the human population evolved an orifice designed specifically for a penis to be inserted. There’s no need for any other.

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Piotr Pachota's avatar

With all due respect, reading this was kind of like watching a full length porn movie - trying to follow it at first, but it's so slow that you just try to skip the boring stuff and foreplay, straight to the assfucking scene.

I don't think anal sex has to hurt though. The power play also works by putting her in a vulnerable position where you CAN decide to thrust harder to get more pleasure yourself and thus give less pleasure and more pain to her, but you DON'T. It's kind of like "choking" by lightly touching her throat - it's a vulnerable position where you CAN actually choke her but you DON'T. That's what makes it hot.

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YourUnclePedro's avatar

This is the longest post ever made on Substack or anywhere else. I gave up trying to finish it after the first 45 minutes. Don't ask me what it's about. I haven't a clue.

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Uriah’s Wife's avatar

What utter trash. That’s 10 more minutes that could have been used to plunge my toilet.

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Daniel's avatar

I think you are losing yourself in the character you’ve created for yourself.

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lysergic monk's avatar

shitty writing

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

literally!

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Iberian Wanderer's avatar

welp uncle Walt is definitely back on amphetamines lol

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National Rust's avatar

What's with all the rape shit

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Jim Di Griz's avatar

This is a parody, isn’t it?

You’re taking the piss out of loser incels, right?

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PigeonReligion's avatar

Young nigga young Niigata yung nigga… you is gay as hell. Wanting to dom a woman is gay. No shame in that game but dont frame it as hetero. Rename this essay as ‘anal sex is for gays’. Because 4sure that is true. I respect gays and offer them rulership of the anus. Heterosexuality according to Freud links to procreation and you cannot gestate a baby in your asshole. Sad but true. Butts are not vaginas.

Dommin a woman is gay af. Respect you bro but this is gay.

Out and proud is beautiful.

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John Kantor's avatar

Your AI has an attitude

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Nice Guy's avatar

This made me want to read Lord of the Rings again

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Alan partridge’s jock strap's avatar

To anyone who made it all the way through (so to speak), well, whatever the fuck this was I say bravo. And my condolences.

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Joshua Shalet's avatar

My wife and I were virgins on our wedding night. Not telling anyone what to do. Just sharing that I find the secular libertine way of life confusing and disturbing.

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