What I Like & Dislike About Each Generation

this is just my opinion

Boomer Men

PROS: They take fatherhood very seriously and ackshully care about long-term institutional viability, even if they’re kind of shitty at modeling operative incentive structures most of the time. They also tend to rebound quickly from disappointment, and more generally just have a lot of confidence and gumption that lets them blast through life like a rhino not really giving a fuck who they piss off. Also for all their retarded wife jokes they genuinely adore women.

CONS: They’re the most pigheaded fuckers on the planet, and will refuse to update their priors until reality has them bent over a barrel with its cock up their ass.

Boomettes

PROS: They’re great at social politics and are probably the only cohort left that still cares about etiquette in the Before Times sense. Were pretty good rhino handlers all around. Probably the first generation of women in history to effectively shield their children from casual abuse—though looking at how Millennials turned out they probably overcorrected. Very generous with their time and energy and fantastic grandmothers though, making it far easier for their Millennial daughters to enter seamlessly into motherhood than Zoomettes are finding it with their comparatively selfish and narcissistic latchkey moms. Overall they really love men.

CONS: Have a Before Times expectation of deference to feminine fragility paired with modernist expectations of equal personhood, making them hugely solipsistic about their Feelings in kind of a cringe way you don’t see from any other cohort. Sometimes their manners enthusiasm extends to thinking you’re pond scum if you e.g. have bad handwriting or say “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome” or want to do something different for your wedding than she did.

Gen X Men

PROS: They were pretty fantastic uncs back in the day—Gen X culture is practically built for being an unc because they had a certain tendency for arrested development which meant they’d hang out in Millennial subcultures as the resident oldheads dispensing wisdom we sorely needed due to declining family sizes yielding fewer elder brother mentors which helped a huge number of us stop acting like Harry Potter all the time and learn how to not seem gay around girls. Also made us a bunch of really fantastic video games and adult cartoons that functionally undid a lot of the worst of Michael Eisner’s brainwashing. Much better at fathering their daughters than Boomer men who’d as a rule oscillate between candycane overindulgence / buy-the-cow bromides / psycho authoritarianism; Zoomettes by and large seem to respect their dads and in the worst cases just feel starved for fatherly warmth / approval which worked out pretty swimmingly for Millennial men.

CONS: They never really developed a “gravitas” in the same way Boomer men had hence Trump mogging Cruz/Rubio/DeSantis and Gavin being way too big a pussy to unseat grandpa in the weeks after he shit his pants on national television… it kind of seems like they’re going to be a Pompey Generation with power flowing directly from Boomers to Millennials, which idk I’m not sure Vance or Buttigieg are exactly ready to take the wheel so much as gr8 at performing readiness. Anyway the ones who had the agency to become startup guys ended up pretty cool, but the rest have a bit of a cringe wounded failson energy and it often feels like they’re mad the world can’t be a permanent nineties. Are strangely far less effective at making their Zoomer sons not twinky incel school shooters than they were at fixing their Millennial proteges.

Gen X Womyn

PROS: Basically never throw around frivolous and retarded false rape accusations. Unlike Millennial / Zoomer chicks don’t experience their bisexuality as a YA novel. Probably overall the least retarded cohort of women in history since they needed men to take them seriously. Can do the girlboss thing in a somewhat dignified way unlike Millennielles who are much too soft and gentle for it. Also Kryptogal (Kate, if you like) and my very first boss I’m still friends with who also has a name starting with K are probably the only two women I respect in the same way I would a man.

CONS: Were sociopathically prone to divorce raping their husbands, creating a proto-incel cadre of bitter Gen X MGTOWs in the late aughts / early 2010s. The ones I’ve fucked all acted weird and gay about my fetishes because they never got groomed by easily accessible internet porn. By and large they’re kind of shitty mothers to their daughters—every Zoomette I’ve dated loved to aestheticize her Daddy Issues but once you dig beneath the surface their Mommy Issues are usually a million times worse. Like just for one thing compared to Boomer women Xer broads seem a lot worse about being sexually competitive with their daughters and will frequently push them in a girlbossy direction even when that’s a bad fit for her. They’re very practicality focused and often bewildered by their daughters’ flightiness and insistent on them being more agentic not realizing Zoomettes esp the pretty ones live in post-scarcity conditions, which causes them to get lied to pretty frequently and just not understand the culture of younger women at all. Also speaking to some of my younger married friends they also seem very bad at making themselves available to watch grandkids. Sometimes kind of cunty about people not being “normal” because they think their dumb retarded Monoculture still matters hence the prototypical Karen being Gen X. Weirdly prone to calling everything a passing trend.

Millennial Men

PROS: We’re the only cohort in society where you can reasonably expect the average member to think about shit in a serious and propositional way—this makes us great at modeling the world and explaining shit (only a Millennial male would ever write this article for instance) if a lot of times flat-footed when it comes to navigating ambiguity or acting decisively when the situation calls for it. We’re also deeply institutionalist and great at building systems / frameworks / ideas, and have a baseline civicminded nature that even when curdled by life’s disappointments makes us deeply chivalrous toward women and friendly to strangers, and similar to Boomers we have a power of positive thinking Harry Potter narcissism that lets us rhino through hardship to the tune of a 90s Disney film eternally confident in our eventual admittance to Hogwarts.

CONS: We’re a lot of times pretty shitty friends, and will throw our buddies under the bus for pussy / status far more readily than other cohorts. We’re not as brutal as we should be with strangers, and not nearly as loyal as we should be to our männerbund. Higher status Millennial guys are at this point functional Boomers but a lot more faggoty and smarmy about it; midstatus ones constantly punch down at low status men to build credibility with women; lower status ones are basically just uglier and whinier Zoomers with a lot less reason for complaint, often still bitching about how the Great Recession wiped them out despite it being legal to fuck now. Overall just really fucking ungrateful for the massive gift from the universe that was Covid.

Millennielles

PROS: Waaaay better fashion sense than Gen X broads and Zoomettes, and vastly less misandrist in their bones than either. A lot of the cooler ones have a terrific sense of humor that men underappreciate. Quite a lot more individuated / higher order in their hypergamy than probs any other cohort of women in history; a lot were genuinely into the Sk8er Boi script back in the day because their romantic self-concept foregrounded discernment instead of hedonism or status-climbing, even if in practice it was usually one of the latter two getting laundered as the former in a Viktor Krum way. Because Millennial cultural pillarization (vs. Gen X monoculture and Zoomer microcultures / feedslop) made “poseur” insult du jour rather than “pick me” Millennielles are also just a lot more quirky and tolerant of eccentricity than Gen X and Zoomettes on average, as in Millennial subcultures spergy and weird girls were a lot of times overtly venerated instead of isolated / exploited / filed down like young women are today and were in the twentieth century. Also they’re incredibly sexually adventurous usually even if kind of gay and reddit about the framing.

CONS: Easily the most deluded and epistemically solipsistic cohort in human history. They were raised to believe the world is flat and unlike their male peers never got disabused of that notion until on the cusp of perimenopause. Horrid integration of their shadow/dark feminine and don’t have any broadly legible scripts for aestheticizing cruelty like Latchkey Crones and Zoomettes which means that whenever they do something evil they instinctively give a Cady Heron Speech about how they Haven’t Been Themselves Lately or figure out some retarded way that everything was ackshully your fault. Masterful at “taking accountability” for shit in a way that functionally abrogates all accountability. Prone to getting their twenties shredded by a series of John Mulaney fuckboys they deep down knew would never propose but sold great to their girlies on Insta and then erecting a bunch of fake and gay “boundaries” that just make her a lot less fun to date and then calling her male peers unserious when they want to date Zoomettes instead. Neither as authentically capable of girlbossery as Gen X Womyn nor comfy with fuck-me-daddy asymmetry as Zoomettes, tending instead to want a man who lets her feel soft and cared for while seldom letting him feel like he owns her outside the bedroom (though this is much less the case nowadays vs. 10 years ago I’m happy to report). Speaking of—they’re very prone to treating sex and the relationship as two separate things leading to utterly retarded Millennial Womyn concepts like “little space” and “kink sheets.” Overall though just incredibly sweet if stupid babies who never really knew any better.

Zoomer Boys

PROS: By nature quite humble epistemically and don’t have the Millennial male tendency to need to be the most knowledgeable guy in the room at 23. Far less prone to idealizing women than we were back in the day and oftentimes still are. Very hard to bullshit and are nobody’s fool, even when it would benefit them to be. Far better than previous generations of men at sussing out the emotional truth of a situation and picking up on vibes—overall they often seem kind of cognitively situated between men and women like a gay guy or autistic chick. That said they’re also more masculine than Millennial men in the sense that they’re far less likely to think of other men’s status in a fart sniffing essentialist way, which incidentally makes them far better bros to each other than us most of the time. Sociopathically brutal to their enemies and a lot of times also random strangers, which is frankly kind of necessary in the modern world as a dude if you don’t have status and the inability of low status Millennial guys to act in the same way is going to shred them in coming decades. They’re also great at picking up on patterns and not being in hoc to conventional wisdom, and if they find the right rooftop also seem to be pretty decent shots.

CONS: They’re way too liquid to be taken fully seriously by older men. You can’t count on them for shit, and they’ll only make their true selves known to you (to the extent that’s even a fixed thing) once they trust you implicitly. They have basically zero protective impulse towards women in a way that often reads as deeply disturbing to Millennial guys, and are so thoroughgoingly cynical (perhaps justifiably) about their prospects for institutional climb that they’ve basically allowed Zoomettes to take over polite society while themselves becoming ontologically nomadic guerrilla agents, which isn’t such a handsome look in your thirties fellas. Unwilling to own usually their deep yearning for feminine companionship and a path towards fatherhood, as any hint of that publicly gets them branded an incel dalit. Certain tendency to cheer at Hector’s body being dragged around the gates of Troy.

Zoomettes

PROS: Blisteringly alluring—there’s a reason they got their own moniker in these parts well before anyone else. The Zoomette is simultaneously your child-bride and merciless pagan goddess; your totalistically pliant little fuckbunny and the stilletto dancing between your ribs. In her best moments she’ll make you feel like a man in a way basically no Millennial woman will for fear of being a Bad Feminist, even if at this point it’s only residual and precognitive—because when a Zoomette says she’s yours, she fucking means it… or at least does in that particular moment. Also genuinely very sweet in kind of a little girl way most the time, though the boys her age usually don’t get to see it unless pinnacle status sadly. Also they’re probs more emotionally sophisticated than any other cohort in history and can narrate their Feelings with hyper-specific exactitude by way of language + music + images in this really compelling and cool way most people don’t appreciate enough.

CONS: Kind of evil—and they all know it, too. It’s not always super overt, but they’ve basically been permitted to indulge their Dark Feminine with zero functional limits except their voracious hunger for status, their insane intrasexual competition, and the ability of older men and their apex-status male peers to tame them with cock. Elsewise they don’t really have “morals” or “values” in any steady diachronic sense and are basically pure liquid—most of them take whatever form they need to for the situation / audience and will casually rewrite narratives post hoc willy nilly and then genuinely believe their own BS. Meanwhile more spergy / unusual Zoomettes often end up bullied with plausible deniability or isolated in ways even chicks of past generations can’t pick up on. Long story short, these kitties have claws. Also they kind of all dress like shit (though usually you can also groom them into wearing whatever you like provided you have the cheddar).

Alphoids

PROS: Thanks to Covid not impacting them as much they seem more socially competent and less prone to anxiety / autismo qualities than Zoomer Boys, and the ones from better families seem to have been denied screens altogether to such an extent that they’ll probably be less diseased by modernity than any cohort since Gen X.

CONS: The ones from lower status families will probably end up as Feed Morlocks who unironically need to be sent to concentration camps to help them concentrate.

Alphettes

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