41 Comments
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Hera's avatar
Apr 4Edited

I had to check if I had a penis because damn nigga I just read 30 minutes worth of substack drama

I have been pretty consistent from the get go in thinking that WBE is genuinely a douchebag, but also entertaining to me.

I kinda thought of you much the same way, because as I am a truecel virgin you fucking a lot of women can be hard to distinguish from you fucking a lot of women *ethically* (whatever that means)

But no. You’ve got Virtue Wally B. See I capitalized it. Because you’ve really got it.

As much as you hate philosophy, as a moral philosopher I give you a shiny star sticker. I promise to reimburse my consumption of your content at a later date, when I am no longer a student (poor).

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Giacomo's avatar

He is more virtuous than WBE. But that is an extremely low bar.

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Iberian Wanderer's avatar

Reading the four posts from the three of you in parallel was a borderline psychodelic experience

I want the movie of this in the style of Babel or Memento

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Lirpa Strike's avatar

For real, I was waiting for this to tie it all together. Next revue theme

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Sebastian's avatar

This really developed my parasocial relationship with you Mr Bismarck.

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

<3

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JS.Hardy's avatar

LMAO nailed it

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JS.Hardy's avatar

A Noble White Knight! I salute you sir ;)

In all seriousness you are a great writer, it was masterful to be able to weave your trademark self aware humor into a story about something you're actually invested in that would have probably just descended into an angry rant from anyone else. You are either a good man deep down (never bought the narc thing) or good at convincing me.

I am Team Walt until the end. As soon as I figure out the identity of Mr Lavender he's in trouble! Maybe there are some clues I missed?

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Dmitry's avatar

honored by the association buddy. what a very gay but very entertaining turn of events!

high-stakes substack drama reminds me of this classic scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SOgB0KfkOkA

also I lmao'd at "schlocky goon fodder for molested girls"

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Jacob's avatar

Every minute you spend on this meaningless high School bullshit is one less minute you are building your empire of badass agentic buccaneers. Let Mr. Lavender be at the top of the substack narcissist status hierarchy. Go finish building your own. You're better than this.

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

Don't disagree at all and I intend to. Unfortunately it's hard not to get drawn into meaningless high school bullshit when you're talking to a girl who's literally just out of high school. Lesson learned I suppose.

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Paul's avatar

I'm divorced in my early 40's. I also fell for a hot one around her age. I did not want to lose her and was not able to shield my emotions in preparation for such a loss.

I inevitably did lose her - she drifted away in favor of a man closer to her age. I handled the emotions about as well as you have. I didn't want it to happen; it bruised my ego and hurt and saddened me.

But I kept it to myself. As my man, this is overwrought and, frankly, embarrassing. The outcome was foretold from Day 1 - if it hadn't been him it would have been someone else.

And, chronicling in detail how shitty the guy the young hot thing chose over you is not noteworthy - young girl makes poor choice to fuck shitty guy, News at 11! - and is not an exercise that needs to happen.

God bless you mate. I feel for you, I really do.

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

It's only embarrassing if you let yourself be embarrassed. It was important that people hear my side of the story. Also this will get me quite a bit of clout once the nigga inevitably catches a charge.

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Interested Party's avatar

lmao it was kinda funny how mad he came off at the threat of you destroying his reputation. you're both kinda cringe for fighting this hard over an egirl whos not even that hot. consider touching some prairie

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

she is That Hot tbh

but it's not about that at this point

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qangin's avatar

I've read all sides of this, and I'm sorry to say but you need to up your nickname/pseudonym game, Walt. Mr Lavender is pretty good, but "Lurla"? Really?

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Giacomo's avatar

"To plant a flag in the ground and declare that yes, the dude is absolutely a malignant narcissist, he’s 100% coming for your girlfriend and your daughter." this was obvious from the beginning to anyone with non autistic EQ.

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ringleader's avatar

Walt, we need to write the screenplay to this ASAP.

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Rina's avatar

You have about a year of hairline left to get a wife, kids, and a mortgage. Biological clock is ticking so quit chasing after barely legals and go clock in.

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

I already have a mortgage, ma'am.

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Rina's avatar

Honestly that makes this whole situation even more pitiful.

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Giacomo's avatar

I suspect a lot of this WBE rivalry is kayfabe. But if it is kayfabe, it is really well done kayfabe.

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Warmek's avatar

Oh don't be absurd. Women like to think that they have agency, but unless they're in the absolute top 0.01% of their sex, they're just playing follow the leader.

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Giacomo's avatar

They're like chess pawns. They have agency, but their movement patterns are very limited.

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M.E.T's avatar

This is a random aside, but in your strange body count calculations,the fact that 2 black dudes count as 12 white dudes is the most embarrassing thing you couldve say. You sound like a massive cuck. Omg, these black dudes are so much bigger and more man than (obviously superior!!) white guys like myself.

Black men really trigger your vulnerable narcissism 😂

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

Nah silly nigga it's just that when a girl fucks a black guy it's virtually always a sign of higher sluttiness and a taste for a more brutish and vulgar flavor of masculinity.

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M.E.T's avatar

This just reads like you rarely go out of your house. Enjoyable writing tho

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Talmudic Golem's avatar

How large is your verbal tilt? Also, how old was your father when you were conceived?

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Walt Bismarck's avatar

I don't know the actual numbers for tilt but intuitively I feel like 150+ verbal 130-135 quant 120 visual spatial is correct. Paternal age was 31 iirc

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